Our Chairman’s comments on the “British Model”

Sir,                                                                 “The British Model”

Just as the pantomime season has ended, Mr. Cameron is putting on a show of this title. It is the name for his new romance with the EU, which will lock us permanently, formally and happily ever after into second class membership but with a first class subscription.

The script and choreography are written although some of the parts still remain to be cast. It could be a one performance show with a finale in June or it may run and run until the end of 2017.

One sketch is called “The Emergency Brake”. This is the mechanism by which the British government can restrict the influx of EU migrants if there are too many of them to cope with. But it’s not a matter for the driver’s decision, as is usually the case in emergencies. He first has to stop, get out of the cab, go to Brussels and ask permission to apply the brake. If it is granted, he comes back again and applies the brake. If not, the vehicle continues to gather speed. It makes an interesting comic interlude.

The independent countries in the European Economic Area (Norway, Iceland and Liechtenstein) have an Emergency Brake too. They don’t have to ask anybody’s permission to use it.

Little, tiny Liechtenstein has done so, said “enough is enough” and specified just how many EU migrants they will admit in a year, so that their social services and budget can cope.

Yet with all the supposed influence and “clout” which Britain’s place at the “top table” of the EU is supposed to afford, Mr Cameron is asking for arrangements inferior to those already enjoyed by Liechtenstein. There is a strong comic content.

The show is a successor to Harold Wilson’s 1975 imaginative fantasy  “Fundamental Renegotiation”, which attempted even less but went down well with the public. The opinion of critics is divided this time.

Yours faithfully,

Edward Spalton